september 7, 2011

I don't really have any exciting news today but since I haven't posted a blog since July 4th I thought it was time. :) Not sure where to start, Kingston has been making a lot of improvement the past couple weeks with his gross motor skills. He is still pretty delayed but I think with a lot of hard work and serious time working with him we will get there. He is doing so much better reaching and being on his tummy with keeping his head up. I am now concerned mostly about his speech. He is still not saying any consonants yet and it worries me. I'm trying to be patient but I wish he would just say one word so that I know he can. He's good at mimicking me with sounds but where are the words? I am also concerned about his feet. He wants to push his feet out and keep his toes curled. The physical therapist mentioned orthopedics might help. Not sure if I should be doing something else. Should I take him to see an orthopedic specialist? Is it something he will grow out of? What to do about that...I don't know. We are going to start Physical Therapy in an outpatient office on the 13th. We are going to try this twice a month. It is pricey but I feel we need to get more aggressive and I'm hoping it is short term. We are also going to have early intervention start coming to our home two or three times a month to work on P.T. too. I'm hoping to try both and cut back after a month. See which one is helping the most. It sucks doing both but I want to make sure we are doing what is best for him and I don't know any other way than to try them both to decide. The first P.T. bill came though. $70. I hope that all of them are not that expensive. All these little things add up. I am truly grateful for him and I know we are so lucky that he has not had any major issues but all these "little issues" add up and it gets overwhelming when I dread to get the mail because I know there will be some little "$100" bill for something or other. I feel guilty for being so frustrated because I know how blessed we are but it's hard and I wish it were easier. There I said it. I try to stay positive and not let things worry me that are not things I need to worry about yet but it's hard. Being a preemie mom is hard. The bills are never ending, the physical therapy, the doctor visits, the worries about development and wondering what it could mean, sometimes I just want to say AHHHHH enough already. But then I see my sweet baby boy and he looks at me and smiles with that twinkle in his eyes and his big dimples and his toothless grin and I am just so HAPPY and so thankful that he is here and in my life and making it so much better.